Sometimes i hate blogging. I hate it when everyone knows my deepest thoughts. I hate it when someone gets too close to me, reading every thought of mine.
I was having dinner with LAti, and she was just telling me that i am a complex one. HAHA! (Jing Thinks alot! Isn't it an irony)

Well i must admit she is right.

I hate it when someone knows me too well. It gets scary. I'm selfish... I want something to belong soley to me and the only thing that i can grasp is my mind. My thoughts. I just want to be the only one who know myself the best.

I don't know if it is a good thing or a bad thing at times. I don't mind if people call me emotionless, i don't mind if i am called heartless. I really don't mind! I just don't want to lose even the only thing that i can hold on to tightly.
I hate showing every single emotions to everybody. I hate to cry in front of people. I want to be remembered as the strong one. I don't want others to see my weakness, (or rather i try).
As i try to remember every single day of my lives, i wonder if i have changed in my thoughts? Or have i always been so complex. So hard to understand. So hard to a nut to crack? WAs i never open in my emotions, feelings and thoughts? WAs i ever so expressionless? Have i always been the smiley, cheerful, sunshine girl? I begin to wonder...