Now that i have all the time in the world to slack and laze around, i just feel that something is missing from my life. I reckon that it is the way that our society have brought us up! ALways on the go, learning new stuff, doing and striving to always be the best. It has been like this for 19 years of my life, it is just so hard to change that competitive nature of ours. Workaholic- it should be the term used for many people in Singpore.
I guess at one point or another, we all feel tired, we feel like giving up, but society doesn't allow us for that. Man! HOw weird it sounds but all our life we are always competing for something. Limited resources, unlimited demands. When we were young, we compete and fight for toys, for attention. When we grow slightly older, we fight for grades - which all of us are guilty of. We compete to enter the best streams so as not to be labelled as the 'dummies'. When we know what 'love' is, we compete for our mates. - like all those variety show, be it miriam or the bachelor. WHen we grow out of those little crushes, we compete to move up the social ladder. WE strive to earn the most money, to stay in the biggest house, to drive the most luxurious car. When we get married, we compete again to put our kids in the best school to recieve teh best education. When we grow old we compete to outlive each other but at the end of it all we become dust. Doesn't it all ends in a cycle. We gain nothing. Naked as we come from our mother's womb, naked we leave. Is that all there is? When i think back on everything that i had gained or lost, i wondered to myself, is that all there is? The world is never enough for us or rather for me!
As i searched through the years looking for an answer to all my questions, i found the perfect answer to all my questions. I always wondered, what is the purpose of life if we have to die one day. Is that all there is to life? TO eat, drink and be merry? I figured that there is more to it than just life, it is love! Not the normal love that and boy gives to a girl or vice versa. Not the kind of love that a normal parent gives to a child. It is greater than this. It is the love that is never dying, always in abundance. THis is true love of god! It is a realtionship with god knowing that he is always there. WHen i am down, i looked up...i see him, i feel him, i hear him. He knows me better than i know myself. He loves me more than i love myself. He walks in when everybody else walks out. He carries me through he wipes my tears when i cry. In front of him, i am like a glass..transparent and naked. He knows my every move and every thought. HE knows my every feeling - he knows when i try so hard to repress my emotions in front of evrybody. Although i managed to lie to the entire world, yet i can't lie to myself and to god. How many of us can say that we are deeply in love.....with GOD? I don't think i can but i am trying still. I am perservering to know hime more, to obey and understand his word? Is there anyone who is willing to take this challenge up with me?
I have found my answer to all my questions..have you found yours?